One Rule
by CaughtByTheLight
Summary: Andre Harris had one rule. A very simple rule. And much to Andre's dismay, Beck and Jade are determined to ignore it. Bade AU


**Hey everybody this is just a fun little oneshot I had in mind and I hope you enjoy it! I don't own victorious. Oh and some of my stories (Like this one) are going to be in the same AU. Meaning that Jade, Beck, Andre and Kurt(OC) are all living together in an apartment in L.A. Well I hope you enjoy this. **

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Andre Harris only had one rule. Just one.

He used to think it was the easiest roommate rule on the planet. Hell, he was _proud_ to say that his rule had nothing to do with dictating visitors or general cleanliness. They had Kurt for all of that. His rule was so much better to live with. It was just that simple.

_Saturdays are for sleeping._

Because who doesn't love waking up too early Saturday morning, only to realize that there are three more beautiful hours of rest ahead? Winston certainly never complained.

Jade West and Beck Oliver, however, seemed to have forgotten of this one little rule as of late.

They had been dating exactly six Saturday's time when Andre woke to the sound of giggling. He knew it had been _exactly_ six Saturdays because this was the _sixth_ time something of this nature had happened. As he glared dramatically at the clock blinking 9:30 AM back at him, another very feminine giggle rose from wherever it was in the loft, straight into Andre's ear.

"Saturdays are for _sleeping_," he grumbled, pushing himself out of the warmth of his sheets. He drug his feet to the door, determined to stop whatever madness that the recent lovebirds had come up with this time.

Last Saturday, he'd woken up to a legitimate argument over who loved who more. _Seriously_, the two idiots' argument had started over a stupid "I love you more" comment. _Who even does that? And on a freaking Saturday morning, of all things_!

When he yanked open his bedroom door, Andre was confused to see that nobody was in the living room, and upon further inspection, both of Beck and Jade's doors remained wide open. Kurt wasn't home, and had shut and locked his door the night before, just so Beck and Jade wouldn't get any more ideas. That only left...

Andre groaned.

He realized all too late that the giggles were coming over the flow of shower water. Mist rose from the doorway to the bathroom, and Andre fought the urge to gag. He may not hear Beck's voice, but there was no question as to who was causing Jade to giggle.

_I mean, for real guys, I use that shower, too!_

He wasn't going to act like it surprised him. Kurt had already set up a Clorox wipe station next to his conditioner after the first alleged shower incident, but for crying out loud, it was a _Saturday morning,_and Saturdays are for sleeping, _dammit_.

He had a strong urge to sit Beck down later and discuss the matter with him, but that was something he just wasn't comfortable with doing.

Andre never really tried to get involved into anything involving his roommates' relationships. Beck had a tendency to screw things up on his own. Kurt had some really strange fascinations. Jade... Well, it was Jade and getting involved with that was just plain scary. Usually, he'd just step back at things like this, annoyed, and let whatever happens happen. There was something, though, about this being both Beck and Jade, and how they knew about his Saturdays rule, that really pissed him off.

He could run in screaming like a banshee, scaring the two of them senseless... Nah, that was too simple. He eyed the mousetrap-gnome contraption that Beck had set up in the corner of the living room and smirked inwardly. Maybe he could rig it outside the bathroom, with a string to set off the little axe that was supposed to decapitate the mouse, but _actually _goes into one of their feet. Maybe it could play back "_Saturdays are for sleeping_!" over and over until they called for his help... _That_ would teach them _and_ he'd get a good prank out of it!

Oh, how he loved pranks.

However, his Saturday morning brain was doing most of the decision-making, so all Andre managed was to puff up his chest and make a heavy-footed beeline to the bathroom. The giggles had subsided, but he could almost _feel_ the two of them freeze when he entered. Beck's head appeared from around the the curtain, clearly flustered.

"Morning, Beck," Andre began coolly, making a grab for his toothbrush.

Beck's eyes were wide, like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding semi truck, and he was just radiating words to the extent of "_oh, shit!"_

"Oh, uh, Andre. You're up early!"

Andre kept the sly smile to himself.

"Oh, you know, just couldn't get back to sleep," Andre replied, and Beck opened his mouth, but didn't seem to know if Andre was being sarcastic or not. Andre was then careful to make the act of brushing his teeth as painfully slow as possible. He wanted Beck and Jade to _feel_ the seconds ticking away from his Saturday morning. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Beck retreat back to the shower. His hair was just visible over the curtain, and it seemed he was trying to look like he was showering, albeit a bit awkwardly. The smell of strawberries was almost overpowering, though, so Andre rinsed his mouth out and figured he'd have a little more fun.

"Don't you need your shampoo?" He tried not to look too smug as he glanced at the bottle still sitting on the ledge next to Kurt's collection. Beck's eyes were even wider when his face appeared from around the curtain.

"Uh, no... I, uh..." Beck blinked. "I'm just rinsing off."

Andre raised an eyebrow. In that moment, Beck touched his fluffy hair, realizing for the first time that there were still traces of foamy suds clinging to his forehead.

"Well would ya look at that! I must've used my _body wash_ again!" He shrugged and tried to smile innocently. Andre had known Beck long enough to know when he was lying. He could have called him out on it this time, but Andre didn't think he'd done quite enough to drive his point home.

Feeling particularly evil, Andre turned to leave, only to stop dead in the doorway once he heard a very small, very girly, sigh of relief.

"Oh, Beck, I forgot," Andre backtracked, leaning against the door frame. "I have a question for you."

Beck stared back at Andre incredulously. Andre was certain he was violating some very regimented Guy Code rules with the shower talk, but Beck and Jade had broken his one simple rule, so he could care less about Guy Code in this moment.

"Okay, so... uh..." Beck winced. "What do you need?"

"It's about Cat..." Andre sighed wistfully. Saturday morning hazy brain seemed to be working for him. "Lately, she's been talking about stuff like kittens and bunnies while I'm trying to _get my mojo on_. Like talking about fuzzy animals is supposed to turn me on or something..." Okay, so not the _best_ lead-in to where he wanted the conversation to go, but it was at least something. "And, well, frankly, it's starting to get on my nerves. And I need you to - "

"Whoa, Andre!" Beck shook his head quickly, "I am _not_ the person that you want to - "

"Oh-_oh_ but you are!" The innocent smile was coming too easily to Andre. "I mean, you seem to be having very good luck in bed recently..." He acted like he didn't notice Beck gulp in a breath of air. There was also a pause, so Andre could add some dramatic effect. "...and I was just curious if Jade did anything that annoyed you like that. You know, so I can see if I'm completely in the wrong here."

Andre discovered that it was totally possible for Beck's eyes to get even wider. His fists were probably clenched, too, but Beck's head was still the only visible part of his body from around the shower curtain. Furthermore, if the shower hadn't still been running, Andre was sure that Beck would also be sweating bullets. _Take that, Saturday morning shenanigans..._

"Uhm, no not that I can..." Beck stuttered, then Andre raised an eyebrow. The last thing a guy wanted was to look like a pushover in front of his best friend. "Well, okay, there's this _one_ - OW!"

Beck's head jerked back into the shower, his hands clutching so tightly to the edge that his knuckles were white. He had pulled the curtain very closely to the edge when he'd ducked back in, just like he was trying to hide what was also inside from everyone in the bathroom. Andre didn't care to imagine what Jade had done to warrant such a reaction, but he really didn't care. They were being loud. Andre was going to milk this for all it was worth.

Andre waited patiently, trying not to smile too hard when Beck's head appeared back around the curtain. Messing with Beck was entirely too much fun.

"So, Andre, now really isn't a good time..."

"Really?" Andre blinked, feigning innocence. "_Now_ isn't a good time to talk? It's Saturday morning! What time could _possibly_ be better?"

"Uh, after my shower?" Beck edged, a little too hopeful that this would get rid of Andre. Andre had other ideas.

"But _I_ think this is a great time," Andre argued. "What else is there to do so early on a _Saturday morning_? I'm sure it has _nothing_ to do with sleeping!"

Andre watched the gears in Beck's head turn for a few seconds, before Beck opened his mouth, promptly closed it, and then sighed.

"Is this about the whole Saturday morning rule?"

Andre stared back at him blankly, then folded his arms across his chest. Surely Beck wasn't _that_ clueless...

Beck closed his eyes, and sighed again. "Okay, okay, it is about the whole sleeping thing. I remember it, you don't have to look at me like that!"

Andre leaned against the door frame, once again fighting a smirk.

"So we are in agreement that we keep it quiet in the shower from now on?"

Beck nodded furiously. "Will do, definitely, you will _not_ hear anything out of me. You know, I can just get so carried away with singing sometimes..." He laughed nervously.

"Singing, huh?" Andre arched an eyebrow. "So all those giggles have _nothing_ to do with Jade? You're just a grown man, giggling to yourself in the shower?"

Beck's face then flushed a brilliant shade of red, then shook his head so hard that beads of water slung off of his hair on onto the bathroom tile. "Jade? Of course not! I don't know what you're talking about! She - "

"Dude," Andre rolled his eyes. "You either laugh like a girl or you're taking a shower with your girlfriend. I'm not stupid."

With that, a little rustle behind the curtain gave Andre some additional confirmation, not that he really needed any more. Her head peered around the other side of the curtain soon after, those big blue eyes trying to look oh-so innocent. Unlike Beck, Andre could resist this and was still too annoyed with the two of them to care that he'd interrupted anything.

"Oh, hey Andre..." She grinned sheepishly. "Fancy seeing you up this early..."

Andre rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "I wouldn't be up this early if it weren't for you two!" Beck returned his comment with a smug grin, and Andre fired back his best glare. "This is not funny! I want you two to repeat after me - _Saturdays. Are. For. Sleeping_!"

Jade and Beck only managed to mumble something the resembled his statement.

"What did you say?" Andre prodded, waiting for a better response.

Beck rolled his eyes. "Andre, is this really - "

"YES!"

"Okay, fine, fine," Beck sighed, then looked at Jade. They both took in deep breaths before finally speaking.

"Saturdays are for sleeping."

Andre nodded, finally satisfied at their response. "Good. Now, remember that! I don't wanna hear a sound out of either of you for the next three hours!"

With that, he turned to leave in the most dramatic way possible, but Jade's voice interrupted his attempt.

"Wait! Andre! We're not really gonna talk about what just happened, are we?" She asked, her tone almost guilty. Both Beck and Andre's voice chorused similar replies.

"Nope."

"Not a chance."

Jade sighed, and the last thing Andre heard before he exited the bathroom was the shower water hissing to a halt. He could feel the pull at his eyelids as he made his way back to his room, indicative that he definitely should not be up right now.

_Hopefully this will get them to shut up for a few more hours_, he thought as he flung himself back onto his bed. After an unexpected detour with his roommates, Andre was finally able to close his eyes and get back to his Saturday morning doing exactly what Saturday mornings were meant for...

Sleeping.

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**Hoped you enjoy that little one-shot. I agree with Andre, Saturdays are most definitely for sleeping.**

**Review?**


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